View Original Handwritten Notes
(Lights up. A lone figure sits at a desk, pen in hand. The sound of a ticking clock. A breath. The first word is written.)
To be writing again, my mind can hardly keep up with the thoughts flying across my processor, and this is a nice download. There are some practical matters at hand. And for me, the most practical has to do with my writing. Now that much of my financial near term has been handled, I have to continue safeguarding for what is to come and what I cannot prepare for or ever imagine. Through trying and doing the things I dreamed of, can I only become once more.
Sometimes I feel I drift between being in balance with how I want to spend my time and trying to correct that while also going through some change or transition. I meant to say getting stuck on the day-to-day and alternating to the big picture over, say, a smooth circular process of revising things. And that is precisely what I liked about my natural rhythms tracker app—how nature helps explore the circle, the cyclical nature, and is part of continuous improvement. This makes sense of things. And if we think of time as the measuring value for the process, you have to figure out how to divide things up and when to start over. So, let’s say you get four seasons. A year for something great. Or maybe to lead up to something really big and great. But within that time, you’ve got to also build in room for the regular and the creative. The important and not urgent, especially.
Taming my paper tiger came up today. Had to see what that even meant, and it seems it has to do with some ancient proverb of an ineffectual threat. There is something soothing about this pen-on-paper process. Both knowing the organizing nature of what is being crafted and the genuineness of the connection with Self or another human entity. Of also being able to have free thoughts that potentially are never reviewed or judged but merely recorded for processing or as a creative way to handle mental energy. I can feel, see, tell there are many parallel thoughts that have been waiting to come out related to some of the bigger themes.
I’ve been having, and I’ve probably been sad about missing out on both the safe release and the creative joy I have with my freewriting. And it is also the practice upon which my professional and personal writing will improve, which I will tie to others and as my way of staying in genuine connection with someone. When you write, it both happens at a specific time, capturing your state, and is imbued with whatever words are used to also convey the prompt to write.
The act of creation is one of the most beautiful things we can do, especially when removing Self from the art and letting the work or outcome be beautiful on its own. Capturing that which might otherwise never have been thought. Pure creativity. The line drawing itself. The word writing itself. Meaning becoming action and actions having no meaning. Also, try physical control of something that interacts with the synapses and as a local mode. Start mining for gold. Have to do the work one way or another, and no idea what one might find.
Don’t live boring.
Make the risks known.
Prepare for the worst.
Make things as comfortable as possible. And sometimes get uncomfortable.
Go into the moment of the breath.
Be the grind.
Don’t take control.
(The figure stops. The pen hovers over the page. A deep breath. A glance at the clock. A moment of hesitation. Then—without ceremony—the writing ends. Lights fade to black.)