I've Reached 2026 and the New Year

I've reached 2026 and the New Year. My mind is tired from all that happened over the course of the year and I feel all a-jumble mostly from trying to figure out things that don't seem to be working. And that trend will likely continue, since [redacted]. But nevertheless. The earth keeps hurtling towards some unknown trajectory and we are on board for the ride. The scale of our lives is far too short to really make sense of things that have to do with the Universe and what feels like endless time. I think about the sea and how it has almost taken my time over and over. The sea is beautiful and alluring but also very dangerous. A fear sweeps over my heart as I'm breathing and not sure on the next wave. How might Antifragile position handle such a life?

I recall walking through the forests on many occassions. What I can't recall I still experienced and is forever with me. I'm not sure why my memories are not very good. And yet I don't mind nor make a big deal of it and wished others would be more inclined to the same. If people are stars what do our connections to others mean and does making more connections then help us feel more at home in the universe. When I'm excited I feel awake and free. And when I'm not I'm feeling the opposite. And yet like from the ether these emotions and feelings which are fleeting show up sometimes all powerful and I may not have been as robust as I could be to really properly align myself with my maps of life and instead let the current have its way with me. I do wish to have a full life and fun but if my relations are constantly strained I'm not sure how its going to go. And if I think money will fix any of this I'm woefully wrong. It is necessary to live and experience with but really it is an element of trade and life that has grown into something else beyond the labor and what it was. I do love markets and the bazaar and what I'm learning about investing. And I'm excited to be getting into options and everything I've read confirms the path I'm on and what I'm doing. Why do we end up where we are when we do and how come not in different orders or earlier. The biggest lesson is had I started this before and to just start now. Beginning something you've wanted to do is better than not having tried at all. Without mind or money life can be very harsh but without heart it can be a barren tundra of hardness never allowing life to grow very much and keeping a constant winter over any new opportunities.

why do we humans exist and what are our priorities other than just living and existing. It is a colorful life and full of movement but often we are just plugged into our sacs of comfort being harvested by those who take advantage of our humanness in order to further their own gains and ability to also be in their cozy cocoon plugged into warmth comfort and the slavery of our collective past I'm sure we have imprinted into the memories of our DNA. This session neither feels relaxing nor good and that is a tell for my state of mind and where I am as a person. Sadness drips in my heart. I can see and feel it as I'm overly sensitive to feelings. All these things about me and really I'm just trying to eke out an existence make the world slightly better by sharing my thoughts and being a successful business owner. That is my takeaway for 2026 to make my business a success is achievable and within reach. And to my personal life. How might that go and be structured. What can I do to improve my position. So maybe I do 1-2 conferences for my own business - not this year but maybe next as this year I want to focus on savings and growth and strong foundation building. It all started to come together with Hansuru & Antifragile and my conversations in chat with a friend and my work with my AI partners. I do wonder aside from options and astrology what other areas might lend themselves well to what I'm exploring and working on. My mind is tired from all these scribbles. They did not come onto paper easily nor without effort and my body is uncomfortably positioned and dressed (cold and hot), back again from sitting on the floor where I'm able to catch a bit of light so I can write.

Related Explorations

• Back with the Uniball - The page before this one, the last night of 2025.
• How Much We Have Traveled - Two days later: take off, and the year begins moving.
• The People of the Stars - The people-as-stars question, taken up again in February.