Four streams of personal writing, combined into one feed. Journals are longer reflections on consciousness, decisions, and the texture of daily life. Essays are long-form explorations of ideas, technology, and the mind. Freewriting is handwritten field notes from the notebooks, scanned and published raw. Thoughts are quick, half-formed observations that didn't want to wait.
My deploy carries a model of itself in stamps, manifests and flags, and it was wrong twice in a month while the pipeline did the checking. Three loops, a crawl that had never passed, and the cybernetics underneath.
Two short talks with the same title, Heinz von Foerster's and Margaret Mead's Cybernetics of Cybernetics, and what they did to me: Maturana, Castaneda, Kuhn, and a society asked to study itself.
A tired joke that held. The eigenself is what comes back pointing the same way. Nietzsche at his typewriter, his dice game, a mathematician from Zarathustra's landscape, a cursor on a black screen, and three experiments.
Maturana wrote that living happens in zero time. Tolle says the present is all we have. Calculus measures an instant it can never reach. Three takes on the present moment, and a builder who wants something to come of it.
Everything I build teaches me something, and most of it is gone a week later. So I am going to study that learning as a system, with cybernetics, a game and a small lab.
How I walk into a new field, through its history and its people, with a map, and with the first thing the Comparative History of Ideas taught me, that the one observing is in the picture.
